New Year, Old Resolutions.

Dear Future Me,

This year, you were sent the following, which got you thinking about New Year’s resolutions.

Yes, the missing punctuation bothers me too.

When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, you have cycled between the following stages:

Denial: I mean, there’s really no need for resolutions. (Note: This is NEVER true, because you would have so many less vices.)

Anger: FUCK resolutions, I’m just going to do whatever the fuck I want!

Bargaining: Maybe I’ll just have one small resolution…just for January…

Depression: Why do I even bother with resolutions and setting myself up for failure?

Shitty Non-Resolution: My resolution is that I won’t have any resolutions to make next year. (Ugh, you are SO annoying.)

But I think we’ve finally found a new stage: Acceptance.

Making resolutions is a long-standing tradition;  if takes the beginning of a new calendar year to force some perspective, maybe the reSOLUTION is to take time to reflect, revise, re-orient…all the re- words.

So you dug up lists of resolutions from years past: 2009, 2010, 2012…only to quickly realize that the resolutions have never changed, and that they probably never will, because here we are in 2017, and we are still working on ALL THE SAME SHIT.

But maybe it’s okay that our resolutions haven’t changed. That the years will continue to be new, and the resolutions will continue to be old. Because the overarching resolution is to continue do a little more, and to be a little better; not ignoring progress made, but celebrating that there’s still space to do and be so much more.

Future Me, I’m sorry I’m usually kind of a dick to you, since I let everything be your problem.

The saying goes “Do something today that your future self will thank you for”, so I’m going to write these resolutions down even though they’re the same, so that a year from now you have something to look back and reflect upon.

Shit to Work On (2017 Edition)

• Exercising regularly: in the past, this meant starting any sort of exercise (since you did fuck-all nothing for a really long time). Now, this means finding time to work out for yourself around your teaching schedule. 2017 should be a year of more Megaformer, cycling, and maybe some walking, if not only for Pokemon Go reasons (10km eggs!).

• Eating better: you’ve come a long way from being able to demolish an entire Ultimate Bacon Cheeseburger combo meal from Jack in the Box. But you still need to eat more vegetables (yes I know you hate kale and salad, find another way), and eat less fast food and sugar. Also eat at home more – both for physical health and financial health. MAKE BETTER CHOICES.

• Drinking more water:  You’ve started this, which means we are currently just pissing constantly. More specifically, your pee should not be super yellow or reek of coffee.

• Building routines: sleeping and waking up at regular times, flossing daily. …Not super high hopes here. Know thyself, I guess.

• Organizing/Decluttering/Cleaning: general life struggle. Take smaller steps rather than huge projects; less time listing, more time doing.

• Spending more time with loved ones: It took teaching a shit ton in 2016, many conversations with your very supportive, very insightful husband  and a long, overdue vacation to realize that even though you love your work, it is still work. And that you are not just the hours worked or money made, but a person – a person who should make time for the people who love and support you no matter crazy thing you’re choosing to do with your life. Get out of the damned house. Write an email. Send a Snapchat or Facebook message or something. Do it while you poop so you feel productive.

• Blogging: once a month. Even if it’s rants about nothing.

• Reading a fucking book: One. This year. That is not a YA fiction novel.

• Taking less crap: being honest with yourself and with others. Holding in less resentment and taking less shit. Not settling for less because you’re not willing to stand up for what you deserve and what you believe.

• Watching less TV: JUST KIDDING. (Like we would ever give this up willingly. You JUST started watching The Bachelor.)

Future Me, I hope you’re still unapologetically you, but maybe just a little healthier and happier.

Love, Me.

P.S. You turned 30 this year, so I hope you actually did something for your birthday (because for 29 you didn’t even leave the house and you ate a salad. WORST.)